Pete Hegseth Switches Decor In Pentagon

In a shocking break from tradition, Pentagon officials confirmed today that the facility has quietly replaced its framed portraits of generals, admirals, and presidents with vintage whiskey advertisements.

The move, described internally as “Operation Liquid Courage”, was reportedly approved after a morale committee determined that “a picture of George Washington simply doesn’t inspire the same determination as a glowing bottle of Jack Daniel’s.”

Walking through the halls now feels more like a Kentucky distillery tour than the nerve center of U.S. defense. Gone are the stern glares of Eisenhower and MacArthur — in their place, rustic wood panels reading “It’s 5 O’Clock Somewhere” and neon bourbon logos that flicker ominously during classified briefings.

“We needed an update,” said one anonymous staffer. “Nothing says strength and resilience like a 1950s Jim Beam sign. When I walk into a strategy meeting and see a glowing Maker’s Mark barrel logo instead of Truman’s face, I feel ready to take on the world.”

Not everyone agrees. One retired admiral fumed, “This is disgraceful. When I served, leaders inspired us. Now we’re supposed to draw motivation from a painted turkey on a Wild Turkey poster?”

Pentagon officials defended the decision, pointing out that the whiskey signs serve multiple purposes. Some are backlit for “war room ambiance,” others double as morale-boosting conversation starters, and one particularly large Jack Daniel’s billboard in the cafeteria doubles as a clock tower — always set to “Happy Hour.”

Sources say the Joint Chiefs have already debated adding beer taps to the Situation Room “just to round out the vibe.”

When asked whether the change might make the Pentagon appear less professional, the Defense Department issued a statement:

“America’s enemies should know: we may be drunk on freedom… but we’re never hungover on defense.”